How To Help Your Baby Or Toddler Sleep Better On Late Nights
Over the years I got better at being relaxed about late nights, and it has definitely become easier as the kids get older. After working with hundreds of clients, helping them adjust to late nights, events and travel plans, I have learned to relax and realized that late nights now and then are not a bad thing. My advice to you is that it is okay to let go of control or wanting a perfect schedule. It is okay to have an off nap day, to have plans or to offer a later bedtime. I am going to go over some tips on how to help with these times and how to keep sleep on-track.
As your baby gets older, things do get easier. They are more sensitive to wake windows when they are younger because they aren’t awake for as long. So if they are only awake for 2 hours, whereas a toddler is awake for 5 hours before bedtime, then being 30 minutes late is a greater difference for a baby than it will be to that toddler.
It is going to be harder the first time you offer a later night or an off sleep day, but they should adjust the more they are exposed to something.
Try to live by the 80/20 rule, where you try and follow the schedule 80% of the time.
I do believe in sleep dept, where if they had a late night, they are going to be more tired the next day if they didn't sleep as long overnight. This missed sleep will add up and will cause them to get overtired. Sometimes you don’t always notice it the next day, but on the day after that, you will find your child very tired because they didn’t get a catch up day.
So how do we help our baby or child?
Leave the party before or even at their normal bedtime, in hope they will fall asleep in the car. Bring what you need to do their short routine there. This means, giving them a bottle or nurse them, brushing their teeth (at the event or in the car before you leave), having them in their pjs, put on a clean diaper and even their sleep sack so that, if they fall asleep in the car on the way home, you can transfer them right to bed. You don’t want them to fall asleep in the car and then have to wake them up to do their bedtime routine. If they don’t fall asleep, then you can just snuggle and sing a song and put them right to bed, only having to do a 5-10 minute routine as they already had wind down time in the car.
If your bedtime is going to be a bit later, you can let your baby nap longer for their nap or naps. This allows you to let them sleep more during the day, keep a similar wake window before bed so they aren’t so overtired.
If your baby won’t nap longer, you can also try leaving them in the dark a bit longer so at least their body is resting.
If your baby or toddler isn’t able to nap longer, and/or bedtime is going to be a lot later than they are used to then you can offer a bridge nap. This nap is only 15-20 minutes long (contact nap or car nap). This allows you to push bedtime 1-1.5 hours from when you offered the nap. It is crucial to not let them nap longer than 20 minutes or they will need a full wake window before being tired for bedtime. Check out my blog to learn more about this bridge nap.
When offering a later bedtime, you may notice that your baby or toddler is more tired and it may affect their night sleep. If they have night wake ups, try to give them some time to fall back to sleep on their own. It is common that they could let out cries in between sleep cycles, as they are in their lightest part of their sleep. If they wake up early in the morning, give them 10-15 minutes. If they are upset, you may need to rock them back to sleep to ensure they are getting more sleep and to prevent more crying. If they are content then just leave them until their normal wake up time.
If your baby or child does wake up early or at their normal time, put them down 10-15 minutes early for their first nap. This helps to prevent them from getting more overtired and allows them to sleep a bit longer to make up for a little bit of the lost sleep overnight.
If your baby is still sleeping then let them sleep in. If on more than one, nap they can sleep in 15 minutes, and if they are on one nap they can sleep in 30 minutes. Keep to their normal first nap, which is like shortening the wake window by how much they slept in. This will help keep them from getting more overtired and to catch up on some sleep.
You can also watch tired cues and put them to bed early that day to help get them back on track.
Just remember that overtired babies or children tend to struggle more with separation anxiety, fears or anxieties overall. When they are overtired it releases cortisol and adrenaline that can make it harder for them to fall asleep and also decreases their melatonin levels. In these situations, your child may be looking for more support to fall asleep. That is why it is important to try to get them to nap longer, or catch up on sleep the next day. Talk to your child about these things and do your best to help them feel relaxed before going to bed. If your child is old enough, get them to hum or sing to help calm their nervous system.
Check out my other blogs for more information on how to help your child sleep better and if you are struggling, reach out for help. The earlier the intervention the easier it is to get sleep back on track.